The issue itself is very interesting to me, and I did not realize the problem of language at all, so it is totally worth writing about. I can see the significance of the problem, which is perfectly illustrated in the beginning paragraphs, and very powerful. However, the importance of it is barely seen in the afterward. Also, I feel like the background information is too much, and it does not lead to focus of the essay straightforwardly after the hook. Maybe because there are too many sources, I feel Poorvi is illustrating all the points but lack of her own interpretation. And the tone and voice of the entire essay is way too academic, so I get a little bored when reading through it, but the hook is excellent at attracting the reader, and I really like the hook. The essay is obviously multifaceted as it clearly shows the multiple angles of one solution, and Poorvi explains many solutions to solve the problem, but maybe more counterargument might help readers to understand even better. The essay used many sources, of which the number of it is two times mine, and almost every paragraph of the essay has a source to support the author’s claims, so we can see that Poorvi has done a really deep research on her topic. The flow of the entire essay is strong, and the logic between each paragraph is clearly seen, so I totally understand how the essay moves from one idea or paragraph to another. The clarity is strong since the essay is easy to understand and follow and I have no problems understanding it. Moreover, adding a paragraph of the bigger implication of the improved solution in the world might raise it more to a global extent, for example, how can it not only help Indian but also help the entire world, so it could be more insightful and thought-provoking. Overall, Poorvi did a great job on her final paper, and it can be developed even better. Well done!